Old people
Grandma asked me whether I’d got married
Dear friends,
Grandma said hello and called my nickname when our eyes met.
It was a strange feeling. I was vehemently happy and emotional when such a tiny, normal thing happened.
Grandma started forgetting some years ago. From her faded memory, she usually refers to me as “that girl”.
That girl is the daughter of her eldest son.
That girl is very busy.
That girl doesn’t spend much time at home.
But when she has already forgotten all her grandchildren, having her know of my existence is a blessing.
Most of the time, I sit with her for hours, dropping hints of my name and our connections. She will never admit that she couldn’t recall the information, instead, cover it up by saying “Stop talking nonsense. How can’t I know my grandchild?”.
Today, for the first time in five years or so, she greeted me by exclaiming my name at home when I just entered the house.
And when I asked whether she knew the name I used at school, she got it right, too.
Last year, dad browsed her archive and bumped into a bunch of notes he wrote to her when he was a creative writing major in the mid-80s – asking for extra allowance, updating internships, requesting to send some documents. A few of them he wrote with fingers in such a dramatic move.
It has been a great source of comfort for dad and me, personally, that she kept our writings intact and memories lingering.
Nine years ago, I went on a volunteer trip coaching students in a mountainous village of a central coastal city. The village was actually where dad, aunt and grandma – then an expecting mom – went into exile during the war.
I’d learned about that place from a young age as those darkest days of her life flooded back here and there. I wanted to see for myself what it looked like.
Now, when almost nothing bears any meaning at all, what she unconsciously tells me right before we fall asleep was still about that time in the settlement.
Couple weeks ago, I woke up crying from a dream. In that dream, grandma was biking all the way to the local bazaar, wearing a conical hat and a matchy bà ba set.
Till next time,
T.
This week’s top picks
Another grandma
Thinking about this book lately although I read it sometime ago
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/139881.One_Big_Self
Friend sent this over, please watch together since I’ve not watched it yet